1
00:00:07,899 --> 00:00:11,420
Bless This House, Episode 3, Part 1, VTR
number 8807.

2
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:13,990
There you go, Sal.

3
00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:18,200
Well, what do you think?

4
00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:19,590
Oh, it's beautiful.

5
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,400
Are they real diamonds?

6
00:01:21,401 --> 00:01:25,079
What do you mean, are they real
diamonds? Of course they're not real

7
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,520
They look like real diamonds.

8
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,640
That's because they're real imitations.

9
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,090
Anyway, an engagement ring's only a
symbol.

10
00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:33,400
Oh, will somebody give me a symbol?

11
00:01:33,620 --> 00:01:34,760
Oh, Pam didn't want one.

12
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:36,760
I got that for her father.

13
00:01:36,761 --> 00:01:39,679
Wouldn't you have been better off buying
him cufflinks?

14
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,980
I'm not joking, Sal.

15
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,480
Well, you can't. if you bought her this.

16
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,570
It's a real thing.

17
00:01:44,620 --> 00:01:45,670
I've flipped.

18
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,660
We've even started a bottom drawer.

19
00:01:48,060 --> 00:01:49,800
Well, I'm very happy for you, Mike.

20
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,340
You do like her, don't you?

21
00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:54,000
Oh, yeah, I like her. But I like her
father better.

22
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,580
He's really dishy.

23
00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:59,160
If I were just a few years older...
That's what all the girls say.

24
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:02,590
Do you know, he's known as Wimbledon's
most wanted widower.

25
00:02:02,591 --> 00:02:06,059
When are you going to tell Mummy and
Daddy?

26
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:09,070
I thought I'd send them a postcard from
the Honeymoon Hotel.

27
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:11,220
No, seriously, Mike.

28
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,090
Oh, well. I'll have a chat to Dad when
he gets home.

29
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,810
I'll talk to him man to man.

30
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,770
I wonder how he'll take it. He'll have
to take it.

31
00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:21,620
I'll talk to him when he gets back from
the office.

32
00:02:25,641 --> 00:02:27,669
Hello, darling.

33
00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:28,689
Hello.

34
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:29,929
Couldn't get in the back door?

35
00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:30,929
No, I've locked it.

36
00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:31,909
What for?

37
00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:34,949
To stop you going in the kitchen. I
didn't want you to walk on the floor.

38
00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:36,030
Why, have you minded?

39
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,140
No.

40
00:02:38,141 --> 00:02:40,729
You've been sprinkling in again, haven't
you?

41
00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:41,780
Yeah.

42
00:02:41,781 --> 00:02:44,709
What have you done to the kitchen floor?

43
00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:46,749
Varnished it. Oh, well, that's all
right, isn't it?

44
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,490
There's only one snag. What's that?

45
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,210
It takes three hours to dry.

46
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:54,369
You mean I've got to wait three solid
hours before I can have my dinner?

47
00:02:54,370 --> 00:02:59,169
No, it's dry. I did it at lunchtime. Oh,
well, here we go, then. Oh, you can't

48
00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:00,049
go in there.

49
00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:00,849
Why not?

50
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:01,990
I shampooed the carpet.

51
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:06,210
How long does that take to dry?

52
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,719
When is the ten hours up?

53
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,220
Oh, it'll be well worth it, Sid.

54
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,700
When is the ten hours up?

55
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,320
It'll look like a new carpet. When is
the ten hours up?

56
00:03:20,580 --> 00:03:24,070
Just think of the money we've saved. I
don't think you can hear what I'm

57
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,440
What time is the ten hours up?

58
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,840
How about two in the morning?

59
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,530
Oh, God.

60
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,570
So what do we do till then? Camp out
here and all?

61
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,320
We could have an early night.

62
00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:41,019
I don't want an early night. I've just
come home. I want to have my dinner

63
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:42,070
before...

64
00:03:42,071 --> 00:03:43,689
You've changed.

65
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:44,950
You've first got married.

66
00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,410
All you wanted to do was go to bed.

67
00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:49,230
That was 20 -odd years ago.

68
00:03:49,231 --> 00:03:52,909
Now I need all the food I can shovel
down inside me to give me the strength

69
00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:53,960
get up these days.

70
00:03:53,961 --> 00:03:59,329
Why don't we go out to dinner? I don't
want to go out to dinner. I want to have

71
00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:01,740
my own dinner in my own kitchen, and
there we are.

72
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:04,390
We can't get in the kitchen. I can't.

73
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:08,550
Oh, Sid, you're not to walk on my clean
carpet. Don't worry about your carpet.

74
00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:10,909
I'll get into that kitchen without
touching the floor.

75
00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:13,920
What are you going to do, swing across
on the light fitting?

76
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:17,620
You go out there and I'll meet you round
the back and let you in.

77
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:38,820
Oh, just a few brains.

78
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,450
Yes, but how did you do it?

79
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,140
Just get me dinner.

80
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,670
What did you have for your lunch?

81
00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:48,100
Steak.

82
00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:49,450
Oh, you didn't.

83
00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:50,840
What have I done now?

84
00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:54,669
Why do you always have steak for lunch
when I'm going to give you steak for

85
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:56,790
dinner? I'm not a mind reader, you know.

86
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:59,150
You don't listen to a word I say.

87
00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:01,890
What's that got to do with steak?

88
00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,390
What did I say to you in bed this
morning?

89
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,430
Stop it, Sue. You'll be late for work.

90
00:06:10,890 --> 00:06:11,940
for dinner.

91
00:06:11,941 --> 00:06:15,989
Don't worry about it, darling. I love
steak. I'll have it twice a day. I enjoy

92
00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:22,550
it, and there's no bother about it at
all. Now then, the, uh... We've got rum.

93
00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:25,230
No, I took all the food out.

94
00:06:29,010 --> 00:06:31,240
You haven't varnished your hair, have
you?

95
00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:36,369
No, I defrosted it. The food's in a
plastic bag outside the back door.

96
00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:37,420
bag, I've bought.

97
00:06:40,970 --> 00:06:42,020
Is it?

98
00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:43,930
I don't see the plastic bag out there.

99
00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:46,190
It's right by the dustbin.

100
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,670
Oh, dear.

101
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:51,840
Is it Tuesday?

102
00:06:52,010 --> 00:06:53,060
Yeah.

103
00:06:53,061 --> 00:06:55,049
Good, isn't it? All our noise gone.

104
00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:57,400
They must think it's Christmas all over
again.

105
00:06:57,870 --> 00:06:59,550
No wonder they left us an extra bag.

106
00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:01,769
Well, now, we'll have to go out to
dinner.

107
00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:04,729
No, we won't go out to dinner. I've
flown a new Chinese takeaway.

108
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:05,790
Oh, that's nice.

109
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:08,500
I fancy some chicken chow mein. Good
idea, eh?

110
00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:09,700
Here we go.

111
00:07:14,181 --> 00:07:16,679
Give us your front door key.

112
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,060
It's upstairs in my handbag.

113
00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:20,430
Mine's in my coat.

114
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,390
Hang on.

115
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:31,770
Evening.

116
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:39,580
Oh, evening. Good evening, sir.

117
00:07:39,581 --> 00:07:40,539
What's that?

118
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:41,590
You wished to order.

119
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:42,799
Oh, I've already ordered.

120
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,820
No, no, no. You just come in.

121
00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:48,650
I see you. How can you order? I phoned
up ten minutes ago. No, sir.

122
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,960
Yes, yes, yes. I phoned up ten minutes
ago, and I spoke to you.

123
00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:54,950
You not speak to me, sir. I not here ten
minutes ago.

124
00:07:55,390 --> 00:07:57,550
You speak to my partner, Ling.

125
00:07:57,551 --> 00:08:01,309
Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that, but
all you blokes sound the same to me.

126
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:02,450
Not same, sir.

127
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,170
Ling, Shanghainese. Yes. Me, Cantonese.

128
00:08:06,630 --> 00:08:11,770
Well, I don't really care if you're
Pekingese. What name is it?

129
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,100
No Abbott Abbott here, sir.

130
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,760
No, not Abbott Abbott.

131
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,220
Just Abbott.

132
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:33,059
Ah, yes, Abbott. That's it. You are the
gentleman with the two prawn balls.

133
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:51,100
chicken chow mein, crispy noodles and
chips.

134
00:08:51,701 --> 00:08:53,689
Prawn balls.

135
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,750
No, no, no. I don't like prawn balls.

136
00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:58,210
I never eat them and I don't want them.

137
00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:01,750
Then why did you order them? I did not
order them. It's on my bed.

138
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:07,449
I don't give a... I don't really care
what's on your bed. I just want my

139
00:09:07,450 --> 00:09:08,229
chow mein.

140
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,810
You sure you don't like prawn balls?

141
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:15,270
I do wish you'd stop saying that. I'm
not going to be off.

142
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,140
I wouldn't have them if you gave them to
me for nothing.

143
00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:21,060
For nothing?

144
00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:23,650
What do you think this is? Charity?

145
00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:28,350
People like you always the same. Always
want something for nothing.

146
00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:32,270
Oriental twit.

147
00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:47,980
Hi,

148
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,140
Dad.

149
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,840
What are you doing here? Looking for
you.

150
00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:55,140
Well, now you've found me and the answer
is no.

151
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:57,410
What was the question?

152
00:09:57,411 --> 00:10:00,889
The question that's usually up most in
your mind. How much can I borrow?

153
00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:02,230
I don't want your money.

154
00:10:02,610 --> 00:10:03,660
What did you say?

155
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:05,990
I don't want your money.

156
00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:07,910
And you can't have the car?

157
00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:09,190
I don't want the car.

158
00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:11,250
I just want to have a chat here.

159
00:10:11,251 --> 00:10:13,269
Couldn't we do this at home?

160
00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:18,090
No, Dad. You see, I want to talk to
you... man to man.

161
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:25,570
Man to man? Yeah.

162
00:10:26,340 --> 00:10:29,050
You're not in trouble with the police
again, are you?

163
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:30,520
Of course not, Dad.

164
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:31,770
It's a girl.

165
00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:32,859
A girl?

166
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:36,020
Yeah. I suppose it had to happen sooner
or later.

167
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,730
Well, I never thought it would happen to
me. That's what they all say.

168
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,660
I thought we'd have a quiet wedding.

169
00:10:41,661 --> 00:10:42,559
Very sensible.

170
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:43,610
In about six months.

171
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,530
Six months?

172
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,780
What do you intend doing?

173
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:51,240
Walk down the aisle pushing the pram?

174
00:10:53,650 --> 00:11:00,549
Fran. Have you or have you not put this
bird... Have you put this bird in

175
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:01,209
the club?

176
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:02,260
Of course not.

177
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:04,449
What do you want to marry her for?

178
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:05,500
We're in love.

179
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,370
Oh, God, Lonnie, is that all?

180
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,220
Dad, it's the real thing. I've really
flipped.

181
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:15,300
And who is this bit of crumpet you can't
live without?

182
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:17,370
Pamela Huntley -Johnson.

183
00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:19,890
Don't you remember her?

184
00:11:19,891 --> 00:11:21,269
Should I?

185
00:11:21,270 --> 00:11:23,380
Well, she went to the same school as
Sally.

186
00:11:23,939 --> 00:11:26,589
Really? Well, she came to the house a
couple of times.

187
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:28,950
Aunt Lee Johnson.

188
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,130
Hang on.

189
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:33,240
Captain of the hockey team?

190
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:40,080
Yeah. Oh, God blimey, I remember her all
right. Great fat lump, spotty,

191
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,240
greasy pigtails, little thin wire
glasses.

192
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,300
That was at school, Dad.

193
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,220
You wouldn't recognise her now.

194
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,180
He's ever so nice, Daddy.

195
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,560
We want to get married.

196
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:54,069
That's a bit sudden, isn't it, darling?

197
00:11:54,070 --> 00:11:56,300
Yeah, we've been going out for nearly a
week.

198
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:57,700
I see.

199
00:11:57,701 --> 00:12:00,009
Michael Abbott, do I know him?

200
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,709
Don't think you ever met Mike, but you
know his sister, Sally?

201
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:05,289
Sally? Sally Abbott? No, I don't think I
do. Yes, we went to the same school

202
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:08,769
together. You know, she took over from
me as captain of the hockey team.

203
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:09,820
Oh, yeah?

204
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,280
Oh, I remember.

205
00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:15,370
A skinny little horror with pimples and
braces on her feet.

206
00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:16,900
Lovely look.

207
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:26,010
Goodness. You have changed.

208
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:28,170
Thank you, Mr. Huntley -Johnson.

209
00:12:28,171 --> 00:12:31,849
I think you'd better call me Geoffrey.
Mr. Huntley -Johnson makes me feel

210
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,670
old. Oh, you're not old.

211
00:12:34,510 --> 00:12:35,560
Geoffrey.

212
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:38,650
Would you like to sit down?

213
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:45,830
Why are you crying, Mum?

214
00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:47,690
I'm crying because I'm happy.

215
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:51,550
Your mother always cries at weddings.

216
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:53,960
Except ours. I was the only one who
cried at that.

217
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:57,530
I'm very happy for you, Mike.

218
00:12:58,290 --> 00:12:59,430
Pamela's a lovely girl.

219
00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:00,700
I think so, Mum.

220
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:04,360
Just a minute. There's one or two things
you've got to think about.

221
00:13:04,361 --> 00:13:06,289
First of all, you haven't got a job.

222
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:08,029
You can't keep yourself, no matter what.

223
00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:10,589
And if you haven't got a job, you can't
get a mortgage. And if you can't get a

224
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:11,989
mortgage, you've got nowhere to live.

225
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:12,889
Is that all?

226
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:14,150
That's enough, isn't it?

227
00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:18,349
Well, we can't very well let Pam's
father live all on his own in that

228
00:13:18,350 --> 00:13:19,670
eight -bedroomed mansion.

229
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,619
Eight bedrooms.

230
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:25,360
So we've agreed to move in with him.

231
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:31,119
And as far as the job is concerned, he
owns four companies, and I'm going on

232
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,170
board of two of them.

233
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,180
He's bloody cracked it.

234
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:41,430
Hello, Daddy.

235
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,280
Hello, Mummy. Hello, darling.

236
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,600
We've just been hearing nice good news.

237
00:13:52,771 --> 00:13:58,959
Nicholas, how can your mother and I do
two weddings on the same day?

238
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,100
Well, you won't have to.

239
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:01,440
It'll be a double wedding.

240
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:02,630
Double wedding? Yes.

241
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,000
Who are you marrying?

242
00:14:46,060 --> 00:14:47,200
Good morning, darling.

243
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:48,410
You're up early.

244
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,360
I've been up all night. Couldn't sleep.

245
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,600
I told you not to have cheese on proper
crispy noodles.

246
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,470
What's that got to do with the cheese?
Sally.

247
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,340
What's the matter with Sally?

248
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,300
She's marrying Pamela's old man, isn't
she?

249
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,610
Yes, I know.

250
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,119
Well, aren't you worried about it?

251
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,700
Yes, I am. Very worried. I'm very
pleased to hear it.

252
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,030
I mean, what on earth can we get them
for a wedding present?

253
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,570
Wedding present?

254
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:18,040
somebody who's already got everything.

255
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,360
Are you absolutely in favour of this
blasted wedding?

256
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,040
Yes, if Geoffrey's what she wants.

257
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,180
What she wants?

258
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:28,620
What does it matter what she wants?

259
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,240
I can't understand you.

260
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:32,240
And I can't understand you.

261
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:36,359
When Mike comes home and says he's
marrying into a wealthy family, all you

262
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,410
is he's cracked it.

263
00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:39,140
And with Sally, it's different.

264
00:15:39,141 --> 00:15:43,239
Of course it's different. Blimey, his
girlfriend's more or less the same age

265
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,040
he is, and she's got all her own teeth.

266
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,930
But when you're in love, age doesn't
matter.

267
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:53,350
It's not only age. It's a matter of who
he is.

268
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:56,360
Well, I would have thought he was very
eligible.

269
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:58,480
I mean, he's got all the right
qualities.

270
00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:01,670
He's mature and experienced and very
rich.

271
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:04,630
He's Pamela's father, isn't he?

272
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,970
What's that got to do with it?

273
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,090
What's that got to do with it?

274
00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:14,340
It's got everything to do with it, don't
you see? Don't you understand?

275
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:20,139
If Mike marries Pamela and Sally marries
Pamela's old man, Sally will be her

276
00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:21,280
brother's stepmother.

277
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:28,380
And not only that, our daughter will be
our bleeding sister -in -law.

278
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:34,400
It all sounds very complicated.

279
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,540
Of course it's bloody complicated.

280
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,420
I'm going to put a stop to it.

281
00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:42,640
Sid, don't you interfere. If you try to
stop it, you know what will happen.

282
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,550
off to Golders Green.

283
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,030
Gretna Green.

284
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,380
Well, wherever it is they run off to.

285
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,310
I'm going to have a serious talk with
Sally.

286
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,430
Good morning, Daddy.

287
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,740
Isn't it a beautiful day?

288
00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:57,990
Fantastic. Sit down.

289
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,580
What's the matter? Sit down.

290
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,730
Yes, Daddy.

291
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,700
Now, Sally, we've got to have a serious
talk.

292
00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:07,309
It's not the birds and the bees again,
is it?

293
00:17:07,339 --> 00:17:08,389
No, it's not.

294
00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:12,328
If you're worried about the expense, I'm
sure Geoffrey will chip in. Sally.

295
00:17:12,329 --> 00:17:13,949
I don't want you rushing into anything.

296
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,989
Now, you've got to think about a few
things seriously.

297
00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:19,390
What things? Well, first of all, there's
the age difference.

298
00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:22,540
I mean, blimey, he must be 30 years
older than you at least.

299
00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:24,410
I mean, you're marrying an old man.

300
00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:25,730
Not an old man.

301
00:17:26,230 --> 00:17:27,280
Not like you are.

302
00:17:27,281 --> 00:17:31,969
I am not an old man. I'm in my prime.
There's a good few years left in me.

303
00:17:31,970 --> 00:17:34,889
Well, there must be more in Geoffrey.
He's younger than you.

304
00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:38,569
Well, he just seems younger to you now,
that's all. I mean, by the time you're

305
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,430
35, he'll be doing his old age pension.

306
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,390
if he hasn't snuffed it by then.

307
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,530
And what does that leave you?

308
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,650
It leaves me a very rich young widow.

309
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:50,660
Which is a very nice thought. Now,
don't, Charlie.

310
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,650
I mean, there's the physical part of it
as well.

311
00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:56,390
Oh, don't worry about that.

312
00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:58,010
Look at Charlie Chaplin.

313
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:01,400
Charlie Chaplin?

314
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:04,010
He was in his 70s when his last child
was born.

315
00:18:04,630 --> 00:18:07,330
But I'm not talking about Charlie
Chaplin.

316
00:18:07,331 --> 00:18:11,729
I'm not talking about that physical side
of it. Well, what are you talking

317
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:14,369
about? Well, I mean his general physical
condition.

318
00:18:14,370 --> 00:18:19,669
I mean, he might look lovely across some
dimly lit table in a candle lit

319
00:18:19,670 --> 00:18:23,349
restaurant. Now, will you wait till you
find him struggling to bed after he

320
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:25,700
takes out his choppers and pulls his
hair off?

321
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:29,290
You forgot about unscrewing his false
leg.

322
00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:30,830
Charlie, this is not funny.

323
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:39,970
I'll give in.

324
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,180
Bloody cheek.

325
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:46,990
Old man.

326
00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:50,870
I've got muscles I haven't even used
yet.

327
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,359
Well, that little chap did a lot of
good. She's asked me to order the

328
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,410
cake.

329
00:18:57,540 --> 00:19:00,160
You don't think she's, uh... Oh, yes.

330
00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:02,020
I'm sure she isn't.

331
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,160
Well, she mentioned Charlie Chaplin.

332
00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:05,540
Charlie Chaplin?

333
00:19:05,541 --> 00:19:09,399
Don't worry about it. I'm sorry I said
it. Just forget the whole thing. I'm

334
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,450
going to work.

335
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,690
You can't go to work without any
breakfast.

336
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,430
Breakfast? How do you expect me to eat
breakfast in the state I'm in?

337
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,140
Well, you ought to eat something.

338
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:20,880
Oh, right. I'll shovel something down
me, then.

339
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,680
Good. What would you like? Oh, a couple
of fried eggs.

340
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,290
Bacon, sausages.

341
00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:30,500
Tomatoes, mushrooms.

342
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:32,610
Fried bread.

343
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,250
Four slices.

344
00:19:41,819 --> 00:19:43,840
Charlie, it's not right. She's only 18.

345
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,550
Very dodgy, Sid.

346
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,620
That means old enough to be her father.

347
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,790
There's a lot of it about, boy. Yeah,
and he's a dirty old man.

348
00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:52,859
Excuse me.

349
00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:53,910
Any time, darling.

350
00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:54,919
You're male.

351
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,970
I'm proud of it.

352
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,580
Oh, Mr. Abbott, you are a one.

353
00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:01,830
Aren't I?

354
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:03,610
Cute, isn't she?

355
00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:06,020
You're old enough to be her father.

356
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,730
What's that?

357
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,420
She's the same age as you or Sally.

358
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:10,810
Is she really?

359
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,660
I said there was a lot of it about.

360
00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:17,859
Oh, excuse me, Mr Abbott. Yes, darling.
Better blotting paper have been on the

361
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:18,739
phone. What do you want?

362
00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:21,279
Well, there are reps coming over this
morning. Want to know if you're free for

363
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,330
lunch? Lunch?

364
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,940
With frosty face, old Grimshaw? No,
thank you.

365
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,350
Oh, it's not Miss Grimshaw. She's
retired.

366
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:30,500
Is she? Yeah, they've got a new rep now.
A young lady.

367
00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:31,790
Miss Carter.

368
00:20:32,420 --> 00:20:33,470
Oh, are they?

369
00:20:33,471 --> 00:20:37,979
Yeah, well, that's a different thing.
Book me a table at the carpet, love.

370
00:20:37,980 --> 00:20:39,030
Right -o, Mr Abbott.

371
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:43,780
You lucky devil, Sid. You get all the
perks, don't I?

372
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,210
Oh, God, blimey, the way this girl
types.

373
00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,260
Linda, I'll be back in a minute. Linda.

374
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:51,990
Oi, Linda.

375
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:01,720
Hello there.

376
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:03,580
What have we got here?

377
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,370
Mr Abbott?

378
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:07,750
No such luck.

379
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:08,950
Oh.

380
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,580
You're not better blotting paper, are
you?

381
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:13,310
No, Pamela Huntley -Johnson.

382
00:21:13,550 --> 00:21:14,600
Oh, where's lovely?

383
00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:16,830
I'm engaged to Mr. Abbott's son.

384
00:21:17,290 --> 00:21:19,270
Oh, you're the dirty old man's daughter.

385
00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:24,590
Sit yourself down, love.

386
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,210
Sit. Somebody to see you.

387
00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:34,540
Well, well, well.

388
00:21:35,270 --> 00:21:36,320
You've arrived, eh?

389
00:21:36,470 --> 00:21:37,520
Mr. Abbott.

390
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:41,430
That's right. Call me Sid, darling. I'm
Pamela. Oh, that's a very nice name,

391
00:21:41,431 --> 00:21:44,129
too. I must say, you're a great
improvement on old Grimshaw.

392
00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:45,969
Grimshaw? Yeah, frosty -faced old cat.

393
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:50,369
She's dead lost, she was. Now, I'll tell
you what I've done. I've booked a table

394
00:21:50,370 --> 00:21:51,510
at the carton for lunch.

395
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:54,609
You play your cards right, we can do
lots of lovely business afterwards.

396
00:21:54,610 --> 00:21:55,660
Come in.

397
00:21:55,770 --> 00:21:58,230
I don't believe you're trying to chat me
up.

398
00:21:58,231 --> 00:22:00,949
You would be ashamed of yourself, a man
of your age.

399
00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:02,710
No, I'm not a man of my age.

400
00:22:04,010 --> 00:22:05,790
You're old enough to be my father.

401
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,850
I worry a lot. That's all it is, is
worry.

402
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:10,960
You're not even a dirty old man.

403
00:22:10,961 --> 00:22:14,699
Oh, hang on a minute. Blimey, all I did
was ask you to come to lunch. Yes, but

404
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,870
we both know what you had in mind for
afters.

405
00:22:16,871 --> 00:22:19,399
I think you'd better have lunch with
Charlie.

406
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,450
Charlie?

407
00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:21,910
Charlie?

408
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,350
I want you to take this young lady to
lunch.

409
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:25,950
Good luck.

410
00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:29,670
Present surprise?

411
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,940
You're always like that with girls.

412
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:34,070
Well, like what?

413
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,620
Well, like you are.

414
00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:37,240
Oh, Channing you up?

415
00:22:37,410 --> 00:22:39,170
Yes. Most of the time.

416
00:22:39,870 --> 00:22:42,870
Well, he's the last sort of man I want
for a father -in -law.

417
00:22:55,990 --> 00:22:57,190
So it's all off.

418
00:22:57,590 --> 00:23:00,010
Yep. Dad screwed it up again.

419
00:23:00,490 --> 00:23:01,540
Never mind, Mike.

420
00:23:01,541 --> 00:23:02,569
Cheer up.

421
00:23:02,570 --> 00:23:05,340
It's all right for you. You've still got
Pamela's phone.

422
00:23:09,901 --> 00:23:14,449
You mean he hasn't even asked you to
marry him yet?

423
00:23:14,450 --> 00:23:15,750
Not in so many words.

424
00:23:16,430 --> 00:23:19,570
Well, what exactly did he say in so many
words?

425
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:23,440
It's lovely to meet you, and I hope to
see more of you in the future.

426
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:26,240
Oh, Sally.

427
00:23:29,490 --> 00:23:33,690
You called him a cradle -snatching
Casanova? And a dirty old man.

428
00:23:34,070 --> 00:23:35,770
Well, no wonder he hit you.

429
00:23:41,861 --> 00:23:47,389
You're quite sure a pork chop's as good
as a piece of steak?

430
00:23:47,390 --> 00:23:49,920
I don't know, but it's either that or
chicken wing.

431
00:23:50,010 --> 00:23:51,930
He's got some good punches, that fella.

432
00:23:52,210 --> 00:23:56,369
Well, you did accuse him of practically
seducing Sally after he thought that

433
00:23:56,370 --> 00:23:58,009
you'd tried it on with his daughter.

434
00:23:58,010 --> 00:24:01,349
I told you I did not try it on with his
daughter. I was only interested in

435
00:24:01,350 --> 00:24:02,730
blotting paper, that's all.

436
00:24:02,930 --> 00:24:04,490
Well, you've really upset Mike.

437
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:08,320
He says he's gone off girls for good.
I'll believe that when I see it.

438
00:24:18,570 --> 00:24:19,890
The pleasures of the flesh.

439
00:24:20,090 --> 00:24:22,500
You're lucky you've had something to
renounce.

440
00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:25,380
Hello, everybody.

441
00:24:25,410 --> 00:24:28,370
I've got some marvellous news. Good, we
could do with some.

442
00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:30,050
Oh, Mummy, I'm so happy.

443
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:31,520
How old is he?

444
00:24:32,390 --> 00:24:34,090
He's just two years older than me.

445
00:24:34,091 --> 00:24:37,219
Oh, that's nice, darling. Why don't you
bring him round to meet us?

446
00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:41,770
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